He had come late to the study of himself and now that he was old he was struck that he had thought so little through his life about his reason for living. He had been like a thrown ball, which while it rolls is satisfied, but when at the end of its movement it lay still, wondered what it was doing on the ground.

Once she had said about death, “I’m sure it goes easily. One mustn’t fuss. The important thing is to get reasonably exhausted by life, and avoid this hankering for repetition. What you’ve had you’ve had.”

Enid Bagnold is best known as the author of National Velvet, the beloved novel of a girl and her prize winning horse. In The Loved and Envied, she tackles middle age and the fading class of expat aristocrats: American, Italian, and Scottish living in France in the 1950s. Centering on Lady Ruby Maclean (who is based on the real-life Lady Diana Cooper, a famous socialite of the early 20th century), the various, mostly middle aged characters, come to terms with their lives conscious of missed opportunities, regrets over actions they didn’t take and words they didn’t speak. Love is their biggest disappointment as well as the discovery that having great material assets isn’t enough for a fulfilling life.

Ruby is the “loved and envied” of the title, well aware that throughout her life most people she meets are either in awe of her or in love with her. It is fascinating to watch the interactions of these characters in relation to Ruby and their decades long friendships as they now deal with the life choices they made in their youth. Most are fraying around the edges wrestling with who they were then and what has become of them now. 

For example, Ruby’s husband Sir Gynt a good-hearted, but unsettled man is having a mid-life crisis and wants to move to India. Alberti, Ruby’s oldest friend, has defiantly remained single all of these years, but now that his health is declining decides to marry his long-time care giver, Celestine who has always aspired to marry into a titled family, which Alberti, as Duke of Roccafergolo, solves both their problems. Her friend Cora who gave up painting at marriage is invisible to her husband, a mediocre playwright; she courageously leaves him becoming a world-renowned painter.  In this novel of secrets and words left unsaid couples cheat on their spouses to hold on to their youth or yearn for a romance that will never come.

One of the plot devices Bagnold uses is to take us back in time to the youth of each character showing the circumstances of their life and the options chosen. The settings move from Scotland to Jamaica, to Paris and London as each character takes their starring turn in Ruby’s life.

Though the folly of past decisions is exposed and several characters die, this isn’t a depressing book. It is an insightful commentary on the ways people make peace with their youthful choices when they have not stood the test of time. They all have quirks or are downright eccentric as life deals them blows they can’t always overcome. I was captivated by their perseverance. The most successful of Bagnold’s characters accept the past’s unraveling and are brave enough to change their future. Ruby as the stable constant in all their lives recognizes the ebb and flow of all around her and manages magnificently to keep her poise and good humor. 

I’m haunted with a need to set things straight between me…and my reason for living.

I have never once in my life been in love with someone who loved me. Now I must be resigned to die without it.

There are women, who don’t, by nature, know what’s expected of them. They don’t know what place they ought to fill in men’s regard. I’m like that. You see me old now but it’s always been the same. I’m without what cannot be described to me, what’s not taught, and that to me doesn’t come naturally. And it has ruined my life.